Brownie points - disgruntled

Brownie points

Twice in the past week I have acheived the ultimate result in the smug git stakes - offering to give up my seat without actually having to stand. The key is to guilt trip someone else into offering their seat instead. The other key is offering your seat to the right person.
The first time it was a guy carrying a baby - no problems there. Nobody could mistake a full blown baby, waving its arms and gurgling, for anything else. No chance that the guy was going to turn out to be merely fat, and mortally offended. And in the event the man sitting next to me stepped up to the plate and offered his seat instead.

Last night it was a bit trickier. How old do you have to be to be more grateful to be offered a seat than upset at being seen to be old? She had white hair - check - and wrinkles - double check - but the way she made her way up the carriage suggested she had more life in her than I do after the average working day. Sprightly is the word I'm looking for. However - I offered, she refused, the chap across the aisle said he was getting off at the next stop anyway, she took the seat and everybody was left with their honour satisfied and no skin of anyone's nose.

The baby, on the other hand, spent the rest of the train journey trying to dismantle my Guardian. So I think I'll stick to the old people next time.

19.4.05 18:30

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(19.4.05 18:39)
Try not to stick to them literally...
I know what you mean about them having to be old enough. I once offered a man who I thought fell into the category but it turned out he was with a business partner, so I offended AND embarrassed him by offering. As a general rule, I'll offer anyone over about 70 - but am as stingy about doing so as you sound.

(19.4.05 19:50)
I always wonder - what would I rather be, not offended or sitting down. Sitting down tends to win most days... roll on the days when I'm old enough that people will offer me their seats.

(19.4.05 19:53)
Well you could always tell yourself that you were being offered because you looked tired/ill/generally more in need of sitting.